Hello, my name is ______

Names are powerful. They are bestowed upon us as social signifiers and cast on us as a spell; a manifestation of the contingent parts of who we are as individuals and how we are in society. First names have so much meaning and last names so much social significance. The changing of the “maiden name” being a staple of patriarchy or to some a more convenient way to refer to a “couple”.

As a relationship anarchist, I no longer believe in the institution of marriage as a vehicle for demonstrating love; it stifles our ability to love and keeps us rooted in patriarchal systems. My ex and I had the same last name, ever since we were married at 19. Even then, I felt uncomfortable having the traditional changing of the last name. We even talked about having a totally made up new last name, which would have been cool.

When I set out to change my name as a trans girl, I didn’t know right away that I also wanted to change my last name, but the thought came up pretty fast: if I’m changing my first name, why not change my last name too??

So I have.

I’m officially Raven Winters with the state and federal government!

This process was a long time coming.

Being dead-named is bullshit but also I didn’t hate my old name. It was a great name actually. I feel like it even suited me as someone who was presenting as a man. But as the cool lady said, “I am no man!”. So family and friends reading this, you can’t be either of those things to me if you keep dead-naming me or misgendering me. Just stop. My name is Raven and I used she/her pronouns. Because I am a woman.

A lot of people have told me the name Raven is cool, beautiful, and fits me well. I usually respond with, “well, it helps that I got to choose my name!”

Name-bestowers, do not be alarmed, for your daughter is thankful for the efforts you put into the name you originally chose. However, that chapter has come to a close and Raven is here, while not only being the same person but indeed even more herself and happier than she has ever been!

I have loved the name Raven for a while. Even before watching The 100, the name Raven had such a cool ring to it.

In the show The 100, Raven is a mechanic, engineer, programmer, and badass girl.

She gets the job done and saves her friends from certain death many times.

Winters is fun, outdoorsy, and winter is my favorite season—Ms. Winters also has a nice sound to it.

Getting to choose one’s full name is magical. Seeing it on my ID even more so. I remember when I still in egg-mode and ran names by my ex if I was to have a girl name, what would it be?? lmao. That was years ago now.

Names in the trans community are especially magical as we are often in the process of reinventing ourselves; whether that is keeping our birth names if they are historically androgynous, being the chaotic good and keeping our birth names because fuck gendered names, embracing names that society thinks are silly, going for a common name of our gender, or finding something unique that fits us. Whatever we choose, our names as trans people mean a lot to us and often have a way of anchoring us into gender euphoria. Being Raven, I am now more of who I am than I ever have been. I feel like I’m home in this name.

Being she/her’ed at work or in other social situations makes me feel so good. I feel like I’m living my life finally after years of being in a dream.

My name belongs to me, and I belong to my name.

Cutesy nick-names are also powerful tools of broadcasting endearment—whether one adds a -y to the end of the other name or makes a cute rhyme or takes a section of the name and turns it into something else—we often can show our care for someone or our unique relationships with these names. Or we just get called a “good girl” and melt, but you know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The “what’s in a name” soliloquy may also come to mind; an extant reminder of how names are powerful and important but they aren’t everything; it is the persons we love that matter. Their name simply a label for the amorphous characteristics of their everchanging natures. The thesis is Theseusian. While we are always changing and becoming new, names give that blob that is us a cohesive one-word label; a heuristic that carries connotative meaning.

There is a reason why animal cruelty uses numbers and not names. “Don’t name it or you’ll get attached”. Names may provide personhood and ethical connotations. When we are not free to choose our own names (see The Handmaid’s Tale), who we are is subject to whatever machinations the religion/state/society says we must be. But bodily autonomy is sacrosanct, and along with that is the ability to determine who one is and who one ought to be.

I’m so happy with my name choice and I wish others a merry name-and-gender-change-day when that day arrives for them. Take back your freedom. Be who you are in this short life.